Missing Paris...

I realy miss Paris and everyone there, those were the best years in my life, I left lots of friends there.But there is someone special that I think about all the time, she is the girl that makes me smile just when i look at her... OH GOD... why did I have to fall in love just when i was about to leave?? well we were dating but I know that i am just an option for her, in fact her heart did and always will belong to my best friend in Paris, every girl is atracted to her, and the only reason we coulld have a chance dating was because I tried really hard and my friend rejected her.. even though he never had to do anything.. she is really atracted to him. This really hurts and I actually tried breaking up with her but she woldn't let me.. now it could be that she had feelings for me or eidher because she had noone else to date... i don't know but if i could go back in time i would never date her or even looked at her face...

I HATE MYSELF!!! why do I keep remenbering her? i shouldn't have gone for her.. I was never so hurt... She is a strong girl but i am just this sad boring guy, I love her in Paris but the distance made me love her even more.. I wish i could mae her happy.. in Paris she always had a lot of fun with other people, and especially with my friend. My biggest dream is to find her again, live my life beside her, have kids and love her forever, and i will do the best of me to make her the happyest girl on earth! Unfortunatly I know that it won't happen, But I want her to be really happy, i just want her to be always thinking about me. I fear the day when she forgets about me =(